Most people underestimate their influence.
Not because they lack it.
Because it rarely looks the way they expect it to.
Influence doesn’t arrive with guarantees attached.
It cannot tell us what the outcome will be.
It cannot remove uncertainty from the process.
That’s why control attracts so much attention.
Control appears decisive.
Influence appears partial.
Yet much of what shapes a life begins long before anybody has control of the situation.
Which means people often spend their time searching for more control while overlooking the influence already available to them.
Why Influence Feels Smaller Than It Is
Most people don’t dismiss influence because they believe it is useless.
They dismiss it because it feels incomplete.
Influence cannot tell us how something will end.
It cannot guarantee the effort will pay off.
It cannot remove the possibility that things might not work out as we hope.
Control appears to offer those things.
At least in theory.
Which is why influence can feel like a poor substitute.
The difficulty is that influence was never designed to provide certainty.
It was designed to shape direction.
Yet many of us evaluate it according to what it cannot do rather than what it can.
And when uncertainty remains, it’s easy to assume influence has achieved very little.
Perhaps that’s why it gets overlooked so often.
Not because it is weak.
Because its contribution is rarely visible in advance.
The Influence We Stop Counting
One of the easiest mistakes to make is assuming that if something cannot guarantee a result, it is not worth doing.
The logic seems sensible:
If the outcome remains uncertain,
That’s where influence often gets measured against a standard it was never supposed to meet.
It becomes responsible for providing certainty rather than creating movement.
Yet many of the things people are waiting for only become possible after influence has been used.
Which means influence is often dismissed at precisely the moment it is needed most.
What Are You Waiting For?
Many people spend years postponing movement for reasons that appear entirely sensible at the time.
The difficulty is that influence has never depended on any of those things.
It becomes available long before the future is visible.
Yet that’s often the point where it gets overlooked.
Not because influence is absent.
Because it is being asked to provide something it was never designed to give.
Perhaps that’s the misunderstanding.
The reassurance we’re hoping for and the influence available to us are often two entirely different things.
The Cost Of Waiting For Control
Control feels responsible.
Influence can feel premature.
Which is why people often wait.
The difficulty is that waiting does not create influence.
It merely postpones its use.
And while control is being sought, decisions continue not to be made.
Conversations continue not to happen.
Directions continue not to be explored.
Not because influence was unavailable.
Because it was considered insufficient.
What This Makes Me Wonder
Perhaps the problem is not that people lack influence.
Perhaps it’s that they believe control would solve the problem.
That if certainty arrived, movement would follow.
That if the outcome was guaranteed, action would become easier.
The difficulty is that complete control is largely a myth.
Most meaningful changes happen long before certainty appears.
Which means influence is not what remains once control is unavailable.
Influence is how change happens in the first place.
Your Next Step
Think about something you’ve been waiting to feel more certain about.
Then ask yourself a different question: What influence do I already have here?
Not eventually.
Not once every variable is known.
Today.
Because movement rarely begins when control arrives.
It begins when influence is finally recognised.
From Thinking to Doing helps you act on the influence available now, rather than waiting for a level of certainty that may never appear.
What’s Coming Next?
Next week we’ll explore why confidence is often the result of action rather than the requirement for it.
If You Take One Thing From This
Control determines very little of life.
Influence shapes far more of it than most people realise.
People Also Ask
What is the difference between influence and control?
Control determines outcomes. Influence affects direction. Most people have far more influence than they have control.
Why do people focus on control?
Because control appears to offer certainty, while influence operates without guarantees.
Can small actions really make a difference?
Yes. Influence often works through small changes in direction that accumulate over time.
How do I focus on what I can influence?
Start by identifying the choices, conversations and actions available right now rather than concentrating exclusively on outcomes you cannot determine.
References
Cerino, E et al. (2023) Perceived Control Across the Adult Lifespan: Longitudinal Changes in Global Control and Daily Stressor Control. Developmental Psychology.
Wen, J and Sin, N (2022) Perceived Control and Reactivity to Acute Stressors: Variations by Age, Race and Facets of Control. Stress and Health.
Wang, Y and Chen, T (2023) Perceived Control, Control Strategies and Subjective Wellbeing in Older Adults. American Journal of Health Behavior.
