Your Version of This
There’s a point where the question changes.
Not:
Is this working?
But:
How do I keep this going in a way that actually fits?
Because by now, something is already in place.
Not perfectly.
Not consistently in the same shape every day.
But enough that it no longer feels like something you’re trying to start.
Why trying to “get it right” starts to get in the way
At the beginning, structure helps.
It gives you something to follow.
Something to return to.
Something that reduces decision-making.
But over time, that same structure can become restrictive.
Because it assumes a fixed version.
A way of doing things that doesn’t always account for:
how your days actually unfold,
how your energy shifts,
what your priorities need in that moment.
And when it doesn’t fit…
it creates friction.
It works when it fits you — not when you try to fit it perfectly
This is where the shift happens.
Not away from structure.
But into something more adaptive.
Something that reflects:
how you tend to start,
how you naturally return,
what you can sustain without needing to push.
Because that’s what allows it to continue.
The break point is familiar
It shows up when something works…
but only under certain conditions.
When the day is clear.
When the energy is there.
When everything lines up.
And outside of that, it starts to feel harder to maintain.
That’s not a failure.
It’s a signal.
That the version you’re using doesn’t quite fit yet.
What shaping your version means
It doesn’t mean creating something entirely new.
It means adjusting what already works.
So it can move with you.
Shorter when needed.
Looser when needed.
Simpler when needed.
Without losing the connection to it.
Where most people overcomplicate this
They try to optimise it.
Add more structure.
Add more rules.
Add more expectations.
In an attempt to make it more effective.
But effectiveness here doesn’t come from adding.
It comes from alignment.
From something that fits well enough to continue without resistance.
A more useful way to approach it
Instead of asking:
What should this look like?
Ask:
What version of this can I return to on an average day?
What still counts when the day isn’t ideal?
What fits without needing to be forced?
Those answers shape something sustainable.
Why this is what allows it to continue
Because it removes dependency.
On perfect conditions.
On high energy.
On getting it exactly right.
It creates something flexible enough to hold…
without becoming something you step away from when it doesn’t.
When it starts to feel like yours
You notice it in how little you question it.
You don’t check if you’re doing it “properly”.
You don’t compare it to how it “should” look.
You don’t wait for the right moment to begin.
You just continue.
In a way that reflects you.
Your next step
If you want a simple way to start noticing patterns like this in your own life, try What’s Really Getting in Your Way is a free 7-day email course to help you look more closely at what may actually be getting in the way — and why it keeps happening.
If you’re at the point of wanting to do something differently, From Thinking to Doing is a practical 7-day email programme that helps you start one thing and work with what happens once you begin.
If you want to build on what’s already shifting, the Rebalance, Momentum and Resolve toolkits can help you build your version — not follow someone else’s.
What’s coming next
Then we see what this looks like in real life, when it no longer feels like something you’re trying to maintain.
If you take one thing from this
It works when it fits you — not when you try to fit it perfectly.
People Also Ask
How do I build a routine that actually fits my life?
Start with what you can return to consistently, not what looks ideal. Fit matters more than perfection.
What if my routine only works on certain days?
That’s a sign it needs adjusting. A sustainable version should work across different conditions.
Do I need to follow a specific structure for this to work?
No. Structure helps at the start, but it needs to evolve to reflect your life and energy.
How do I know if something is “my version”?
It feels natural to return to. It doesn’t require constant adjustment or force to maintain.
References
Brown, P. C., Roediger, H. L., & McDaniel, M. A. (2021). Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning (Updated Edition). Harvard University Press.
Gardner, B. D., & Rebar, A. L. (2019). Habit formation and behavior change. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 45.
Oakley, B. (2022). Learning How to Learn Penguin Random House.
