I spent a long time thinking I just hadn’t found the right approach yet
That there was something better out there.
Something clearer.
More structured.
More likely to work if I followed it properly.
And each time something didn’t hold…
I assumed I needed to replace it.
So I kept changing the plan
Not constantly.
But often enough.
Refining it.
Adjusting it.
Looking for a version that would finally feel sustainable.
And each new version would work for a while.
Until it didn’t.
Because the problem wasn’t the plan itself
It was what happened when things shifted.
When the day didn’t match it.
When my attention moved elsewhere.
When I didn’t have the space to do it the way I’d intended.
That’s where it would drop.
And once it dropped…
it felt like I’d lost it.
So I’d look for something better
Something that wouldn’t break in the same way.
But everything I tried followed the same pattern.
It worked when I could hold it in place.
And fell away when I couldn’t.
What changed wasn’t finding something new
It was noticing something I hadn’t been paying attention to.
There were things I hadn’t replaced.
Not because they were perfect.
But because they hadn’t disappeared.
They stayed within reach
Even when I wasn’t actively doing them.
Even when they looked different.
Even when I hadn’t thought about them for a while.
They were still there.
And I could step back into them without rebuilding anything
There was no reset point.
No need to go back to the beginning.
No pressure to get it right before continuing.
Just something I could re-enter…
as it was.
That’s when I stopped looking for a better plan
Because I realised I didn’t need one.
I needed something that stayed available.
Something that didn’t depend on me holding it perfectly.
And that changed how everything felt
There was less pressure to:
find the right version
keep it consistent
or make it work under ideal conditions
Because I wasn’t starting from scratch each time.
I was continuing from something that was already there.
I didn’t find a better plan.
I found something I could keep coming back to.
Your next step
If you want a simple way to start noticing patterns like this in your own life, try What’s Really Getting in Your Way — to starting noticing what’s getting in your way and begin again without overthinking it.
If you are ready to make the shift From Thinking to Doing is a simple 7 day email series that makes starting and returning easier.
If you’re looking to make your changes stick Ritual is a calm, consistent, cumulative rhythm that reshapes how you move through life.
What’s coming next
Once you have something you can return to, the next step is recognising how it’s already changing the way you approach things.
If you take one thing from this
This is what Ritual is.
Not something you follow perfectly.
Something you can return to — and build with — over time.
People Also Ask
Why didn’t any plan seem to work for me?
Because most plans rely on consistency and ideal conditions. When those change, they become harder to follow.
What actually made the difference?
Having something that stayed available — even when you weren’t actively using it.
How do I stop constantly changing my approach?
By recognising what already holds and working with that, rather than replacing it.
What does it mean to “come back to” something?
It means continuing from where you are, without needing to restart or rebuild.
References
Brown, P. C., Roediger, H. L., & McDaniel, M. A. (2021). Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning (Updated Edition). Harvard University Press.
Sweller, J., Ayres, P., & Kalyuga, S. (2021). Cognitive Load Theory (Updated perspectives). Science Direct.
